


Hateful Fate

by espioc



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Depression, Disability, Gen, confused feeling, intense hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3088040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espioc/pseuds/espioc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After already falling under the greatest misfortune a runner of Blurr's calibre can face, his spark decides it's time to find a mate. The one it chooses it less than desirable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The war is over. Decepticons have been captured. Injured Autobots have been restored. Lost positions have been replaced. Even Blurr, crushed into a cube, had been salvaged and placed back into a protoform. It took a little while for him to develop but when he did he was ready to get back into action. Or at least he should have been. There was no action to get into, though, with most of the Decepticons in hiding or captured very little had to be done. There was no more spying or surveillance to be done, no more infiltrating Decepticon bases, no more fighting the war.

A few bots who had been soldiers, fighters, all their lives, found themselves lost with nothing to do. They remained on the elite guard team, but now as a simple police force. It was a new life for everyone, some accepted it while others did not.

“What do you mean I’m still on temporary leave?” Blurr protested, scowling at his now superior officer Cliffjumper. Cliffjumper pinched his nasal ridge, squeezing his optics shut as he listened to an unrelenting Blurr, who still could barely get himself to stand from a chair let alone be any use in the intelligence field at this point. The fact was that his services, as they once were, were no longer needed. Blurr would now be stationed at a desk.

“Blurr-” Cliffjumper interrupted the speedy rant that he could not hear a word of anyways “I understand these last few megacycles have been hard on you Blurr, we’re all going through a bit of change, and it’s a little weird for everyone. You’re just not fit for the field anymore, and there’s no field to go into.”

Blurr gave a cynical huff, something similar to a laugh, as he crossed his arms “You understand? No, I don’t think you do. Becauseyouweren’tcrushedintoacubebyaDecepticononlytowakeupinadefective protoformbodyto-to-to all- _this.”_ He threw a hand out, gesturing the world outside the large windows beside him. After all was said and done Cliffjumper was promoted to head of intelligence after the former head, Longarm, was discovered.

“Blurr-” Cliffjumper tried to ease “I know what happened was unfortunate, but the doctors are trying to fix you remember? They’re doing all they can. You’ll be back to your old self again in no time.” Cliffumper, while often short tempered, and sometimes impatient, had a bit more patience for Blurr, considering the former speedsters current position.

Blurr scoffed “Yeah, so I can sit at a desk for the rest of my life.” He grumbled, then pressing a button on the chair he sat in to get Red Alert to assist him. Red Alert came to roll the former speedster out because he had yet to master spinning the wheels.

Blurr was bound to a chair. During early development of his new protoform something went wrong, something was tampered with that messed up a whole section of essential circuitry. It hurt to walk though he often tried despite the doctors protests. This is why Red Alert was put in charge of him. She was a field medic, cut and dry and tough as iron. She’ll throw Blurr right back in his seat as soon as he tries to stand, no hesitation. She won’ be soft, she won’t show pity, and she won’t give in to begging, even if he never did. She was the perfect bot for the job.

Red Alert didn’t mind too much where she ended up. While she’d rather be working in a hospital or back in the field, helping out a stubborn elite guard member was good enough for her. And Primus knows he needs it.

More than just Blurr’s legs were tampered with, though. Part of his look was off and his transformation cog didn’t function. His shoulder spikes had been reduced to nothing and his chest plate had shrunk along with the metal on his legs. His height remained but he was a shell of his former self. A lot of his body was more mesh than solid metal but no matter what the doctors did, or how long they waited, his body would not develop any further. It was a medical mystery Blurr wanted solved but was pessimistic about what they would find. He had no hope of ever being able to function properly again.

Blurr was plagued by thoughts and memories of what could have been his death. The pain of being crushed threw itself back through his core every time he tried to recharge, and the large, menacing red optic that made it all possible flashed by his vision in the dark, even when there was nothing there. Blurr couldn’t live at home alone; he couldn’t push himself around but never really tried because he never really went anywhere. Red Alert often forced him out the door, though, pushed him despite the protest, and forced him to get some fresh air on nice days.

When they left the building Red Alert pushed the scowling seated bot out into a nice day. Many people were walking about, holding the hands of their small sparklings as they uneasily walked beside them, and avoiding the group of kids in the streets racing about playing tag or some other game.

“I know you don’t like it but being out on days like this can help your recovery, Blurr, you just need to open your processor.” Red Alert advised, walking him slowly back to his apartment complex. Blurr raised his head a bit to see the scene before him. Everyone going about their merry day, walking, running, children racing, smiles on faces who had never seen war.

“Take me home,” Blurr demanded in a low sullen tone, turning his head down.

“Blurr-”

“Red Alert if there is any mercy left in you then take me home…please.”

With a sigh Red Alert pushed him away from the busy street and took a less scenic route to his building. It wasn’t far from the building Blurr worked in, where he’d just met with Cliffjumper.

The doctor rolled the pessimist into the elevator and let the door close by itself. He was only on the fourth floor of six, and his apartment was on the opposite end of the building. Blurr hated the journey. He hated for bots to see him in his current state, to give him pitiful looks and shakes of the head, remembering what Blurr used to be. He used to be a racer, speediest bot around, one of the most useful bot in the intelligence community because no one could ever catch him.

But someone did catch him. A large purple spy by the name of Shockwave, who’d been there all along, for every mission, every gathered piece of information, every government decision was passed through his audio receptors and delivered to Megatron. They let a spy become a Prime, because Shockwave was just that good.

When Blurr entered his apartment Red Alert released him to go turn on a few lights.

“Leave them off,” Blurr requested, trying to wheel himself further into the space. The doctor ignored him and continued to brighten up the dull area. She opened the blinds and wheeled him into the house. When he was in the living area Blurr tried to stand, but was quickly thwarted by a quick shove from Red Alert “No standing,” she stated bluntly, then turning away for a moment to get something. She had to return a second later, though, because her patient refused to capitulate “Sit down,” she demanded, forcing him back in the seat again. A moment later she handed him a small cup with several little pills in it. Blurr scowled at the object presented to him “ _I’m not taking them.”_ He insisted, placing the small cup on the table in protest. He’d been taking energon pills, and pain pills and “circuitry reform” pills since he got out of the hospital about a week and a half ago and he was already tired of it. Red Alert sighed, they’d gone through this nearly every night “ _Yes,_ you _are.”_ She pushed, shoving the cup back in his face “You’re new body can’t handle pure energon yet, and unless you want to stay awake in pain all night you’ll take the pain reducers also.”

Blurr scowled at the little pills “I already can’t recharge at night,” he mumbled, taking out the circuitry reform tablets before swallowing the rest. Red Alert scowled “You need these,” she stated impatiently, picking the two off the table.

“Why?” Blurr challenged “They’re not doing anything.”

“They send signals to your body to get it to heal itself, they’re an essential part of recovery.”

“Maybe they would be if they actually _did_ anything but I’ve been taking those little liars for almost two weeks and _nothing_ has changed.”

“It’s a gradual process, now take them.” She presented them again but Blurr simply turned his head away “Blurr if you won’t take them willingly I will stuff them down your throat.” She threated the obstinate bot. Knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat Blurr eventually plucked the gray things from her fingers and tossed them in his mouth, swallowing both in one gulp “Happy?” he huffed bitterly, keeping a deep scowl upon his face as he stared at his care taker. Red Alert stood up straight “I’m putting you on the IV tonight.” She stated, heading to the door. Blurr threw himself forward “What!?” he raged “I’ve been taking your stupid pills.”

“Oh please, I know you shove breakfast under the couch, don’t lie. I’m going to the hospital down the street to get the IV, you stay here and don’t hurt yourself.”

Blurr sat back, crossing his arms “I can’t recharge with that thing on.”

“Well apparently you can’t recharge anyways, so what does it matter?” she closed the door behind her, leaving Blurr alone. The blue bot let out a huff, then rolled himself, with a struggle, all around the house, turning out the lights, and closing the blinds. Night was falling by the time he finished, and Red Alert had yet to return.

Blurr sat hunched over, face I hands, trying to purge horrid memories from his mind, but finding that every time one left a new one returned. When all light had abandoned the planet, and silence was the only thing that accompanied Blurr, through the darkness of his thoughts and his home a hand was placed on his back. The owner said nothing, but wheeled the speedster to his room, helped him onto the berth, and stuck a needle in his arm. Then, after all was done, left without a word, the click of a shutting door being the only evidence that she was gone.

 

 

“The dark isn’t going to help you,” Red Alert stated, taking the IV out of Blurr’s arm early into the morning.

“What?” Blurr questioned, still in a slight daze.

“The dark,” Red Alert stated “You always put yourself in the dark, but that’s not going to help you. As far as I can tell you got crushed in the dark, didn’t you?”

“I got crushed in the dim.”

“Either way,” she wrapped up the cords and hung up a new bag for tonight “Letting yourself wallow away in the dark isn’t healthy. I’m not going to let you do it anymore.”

“And how are you going to stop me?” Blurr challenged, throwing his legs over the side of the berth and waiting for Red Alert to assist him.

“I’ve brought all the materials I’ll need here, and next time I go out, _every_ time I go out, you’ll be coming with me.” She helped him down and into the wheel chair “You’re next appointment with Ratchet is this afternoon.”

“Yippee,” Blurr dragged sarcastically, not looking forward to the check up at all. It was true what Cliffjumper said, the doctors were doing everything they could for him. If they had Blurr’s model on file it would have been a bit easier, they may have been able to just replace his legs. Having such a unique form, however, made replacing or rebuilding any of Blurr’s limbs near impossible, so he was left lingering.

Red Alert rolled him onto the small dining area beside the front door and handed him a cup of energon pills “Drink up,” she stated “Your appointment’s in an hour.”

“I thought you said it was at noon,”

“You overslept.”

“Oh,”

He drank up the tablets one by one. They’d gotten easier to swallow the more often he did it. Blurr couldn’t wait until he could drink real energon again. At least that would be one thing that will eventually get back to normal. Primus knows everything else he once knew was shot.

Before he could finish the last tab Blurr flinched forward in pain. His spark pulled in his chest harshly, and his body suddenly began to ach. He dropped the pill and rested his head on the table.

“Blurr?” Red Alert put a hand on his back “What’s happening? What’s wrong?” she asked, looking over his hunched over body. Blurr grasped at his chest, clawed at the burning plate. This was a pain he hadn’t experienced since before he was crushed, and it had never been so intense.

“I-I don’t know,” Blurr struggled “It just hurts.”

“Where does it hurt?” Red Alert inquired.

“E-everywhere!”

“Where does it originate from?”

“…My spark…I think.”

Blurr had felt this pain before, but he couldn’t place where or when. It was familiar, though, like his spark was trying to pull him in a certain direction but his body would not comply. As suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. The torment dwindled away. Blurr took a deep breath “What just happened?” he asked, looking up at the doctor “What was that?”

Red Alert stood up straight “It could have been a number of things,” she stated, walking to the other side of the table and sat down “It could be another part of your body’s development problems, or…Blurr, are you bonded with any one?”

Blurr shook his head “No…” he trailed off, then thought for a moment “Why?”

“Well, sometimes a spark reacts to being away from it’s partner for too long…Or from being away from the partner it’s never been with, you know, it’s spark mate.”

“I don’t have a spark mate.”

“Well, no, you don’t have a bond mate, everyone has a pre-set spark mate and as soon as you meet the mech or femme your spark belongs with you’ll know.”

“Well who is it?”

“How should I know? I’m just your doctor. You have to find that out on your own. Have you felt something like this before?”

“Once or twice maybe.”

“When and around who?”

“I-” Blurr paused in thought. It was before he was crushed, he knew that much, and the pain was dull and constant. He remembered it now, his spark pulling, the dull sensation of pain and emptiness; it had been around since he started working for the elite guard, but, for whom?

Blurr shook his head “S-someone in the elite guard when I was working there I don’t remember,” he spit out quickly “Don’twehaveanappointmenttogettoontheothersideoftown?” He got himself out from the table and headed towards the door. Red Alert grabbed the reigns and pushed him out. They were met in the street by a special transport vehicle that came every week to deliver Blurr to the hospital for checkup.

“So how are you feeling today Blurr?” asked Ratchet as they rolled the former speedster into his office.

“Lousy,” Blurr replied bluntly.

“Well that doesn’t sound any different than all the other times you’ve been here. A good sign I guess.” Ratchet helped Blurr onto a berth and began inspection. He asked questions about progress, pain, development, his legs, his spark. Blurr didn’t mention what happened to his spark earlier so Red Alert dis it for him.

“So you don’t know who your spark mate is?” asked the older doctor.

Blurr scoffed “No, and what does it matter that doesn’t have to do with this.”

“Well that’s true but it may get a load off your back as soon as you find them.”

“So I should just spark bond with a random bot? No thank you.”

“In all likelihood it’s someone you already know, or knew.” Ratchet shrugged “I can’t help what your spark needs in this case, a bond to be is meant to be and nothing can take that away.” He then turned back on subject “Now enough about that, you can take care of it later. Right now we’ve got to make you better.”

Blurr scoffed again, turning his head away from the doctor “As if that’s ever going to happen.” He mumbled.

“Well I’m sure it won’t with that kind of attitude!” Ratchet warned “Stop being such a pessimist, we’ll get you walking again.” Ratchet assured. In all honesty Ratchet was just lying to himself. He didn’t know if Blurr would ever be able to function properly again. He might be stuck in a chair sucking on energon pills until the end of his cycle, and that was a ways away.

When Ratchet finished he sent Blurr off to Physical therapy. The nice doctors there helped Blurr from his chair and made his walked while holding onto bars, made him move his legs and test his reflexes. Blurr felt ridicules in that place. He felt weak and helpless. He wanted to walk but he didn’t want to go through the trials of doing so.

By the end of the day, when he was finally released, he was sore and tired, and wanted nothing more than to stick an IV in his arm and go into recharge. Back at his building, on the elevator ride up, Red Alert, who hadn’t said a word all day, spoke “I think we should go to the building you used to work in tomorrow and see if we can figure out who your spark mate is.” She suggested, keeping an eye on the silver elevator doors.

Blurr looked up at her “Why?” he asked “There’s no point to it.”

“I think it would be- nice- to have someone by your side through this hard time.”

“I don’t think they’d be by my side,” Blurr mumbled, fearing the worst of who it could be “And besides, I have you.”

“I’m your doctor.”

“You’re still beside me.” said Blurr gesturing that fact that she was standing right next to him.

“I don’t mean that in a literal sense,” started Red Alert as he elevator doors opened and she began to push him out “I mean someone who will care for you, comfort you, and eventually bond with you. Their spark is calling for you just like yours is calling for them.”

“There’s no guarantee we’ll even like each other.”

“You’ll come to like each other.” She sighed, unlocking the door, tired of this constant questioning.

“How do you know?” asked Blurr as she closed the door behind them.

“Because a spark can’t change it’s mind. You’d either have to bond and hate each other or live in pain forever, you’re choice. I wouldn’t advise the latter, though.”

“I’m already living the latter.”

“And that’s why you take these,” The red and white bot shoved another round of pills in his face, this time getting no protest. Blurr wasn’t in the mood to argue. He tossed the cup on the table as soon as they were down, then rolled himself into the living area.

Blurr’s apartment was small but perfectly functional. Beside the entrance was a tiny round table set with two chairs and an energon dispenser he couldn’t even use any more. Next to that, through an opening with no door, was a living area with a couch and vid screen. The back wall was taken up by a blind covered window while on the opposite wall was the video screen. Between the two was a small table, now moved mostly to the side so that Blurr could get by.

On the wall behind the screen, beside the screen, there’s another empty doorway into Blurr’s room where the berth stuck out from the wall. Half the room was covered in old documents and data pads, none of which Blurr ever planned on looking at again. To the left of that room was a small study area that had been left neglected. It leads into a hall beside the living area where the wash racks were, and one more, much smaller bedroom, where Red Alert stayed for most of the week.

More commonly the patent stayed with the care taker, but after hearing the news about his legs and everything else that went wrong, Blurr wanted at least one thing to go his way. So he managed to get Red Alert to stay with him instead of the other way around. She didn’t mind it too much, there wasn’t much at her apartment anyways, and she slept there once or twice a week.

The problem with Blurr was that he’d fallen into a never ending foul mood and the only doctor who was willing to work with him was Red Alert. He’d only been out of the hospital for a week and a half and two other caretakers had already resigned from the task. All was left to Red Alert; they weren’t even going to try anyone else.

Red Alert came and sat on the couch “Do you want to watch anything?” she asked, turning on the vid screen.

Blurr scowled “I can use a remote.” He growled.

“This is just me being nice. Do you want to watch anything?”

“…No thank you.”

“Then what do you want to do.”

“I want to recharge.”

“Well it’s too early for that, spin again.”

Blurr growled in frustration “WillyoujustletmedowhatIwantforonce!” He raged, turning in his chair to look at her.

“Glad to see your mouth wasn’t affected by the malfunction.”

Blurr scowled “I’d rather be mute than unable to run.”

“I don’t know if you would actually like that any better, Blurr, considering how much you talk.”

“I was _born_ a racer, not a talker. I could walk before I could even make a sound and IassureyouIwould preferthatoveralmostanything.” Blurr slumped back into his seat “Why did Primus have to curse me with this obsolete body!” he slammed his fists on the arms of the chair, causing the metal to rattle. He then tried to stand, protesting his current state. Red Alert hopped up immediately “Alright Blurr, maybe it’s not too early for recharge.” She said, pushing the chair into him, forcing him back down, then moved him to the berth room.

“Maybe you’ll be in a better mood tomorrow,” she declared, helping Blurr onto the berth “I can’t tell if you act more like a whinny child or grumpy old mech.”

“Both,” Blurr stated through gritted teeth.

Red Alert smiled, hooking up the IV “Well get some rest, you’ll need it for tomorrow. Finding a spark mate can take a lot out of a bot.”

“Oh I’m sure it can.”

Red Alert turned out the light and let him be. Blurr didn’t recharge a wink.

He knew when his spark pulsed when he worked in the Elite guard, he knew who it pulsed for, and he couldn’t be more frightened.

He prayed to Primus that his memory served him wrong and it was just a cruel trick of the mind.

 

 

The next morning Blurr was dragged back to his place of “employment” and sent on a mission to find his potential bond mate.

“Cheer up,” Red Alert demanded bluntly, walking him through the halls of the base of intelligence “I’m going to talk to your boss, make sure he’ll green light us walking through this base.”

“I supposedly work here I think we’ll be fine.”

“I just like to confirm things.”

As they approached the red bots office the pain in Blurr’s chest came once again. He doubled over, grasping his chest plate, desperately trying to get it to stop.

“Is it happening again?’ Asked Red Alert, leaning down to his level.

“Yes,” Blurr struggled.

“Well, maybe your bond mate is Cliffjumper.”

“If my spark mate is Cliffjumper-” Blurr had to pause, one hand grasping the arm of his chair while the other clawed at his chest “I will literally offline myself—just to tell Primus how stupid he is.” After a few seconds the pain dwindled and Blurr sat up straight “Go do whatever, I’ll just wait here.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Red Alert headed into Cliffjumper’s office unannounced “Cliffjumper,” she stated upon entry “Blurr and I are going to be walking around your facility for the entire day, just giving you a helm up.” She turned to take her leave but Cliffjumper called after her “Red Alert!” he cried “You can’t just walk around government bases.” He started, as she walked back towards the desk “We have important operations going on here and we don’t need any prying eyes or distractions!”

Red Alert pointed a servo in the commanders face “If your operations were so important then you’d give Blurr more than a desk job after he’s fully recovered. You and I both know there’s _nothing_ going on here.”

Cliffjumper scowled “We can’t give him his old job, _Red Alert,_ because his old job doesn’t exist anymore,” he growled through gritted teeth “And there’s no guarantee he’ll ever recover anyways!” Cliffjumper sat back. He let out a deep sigh “What is it you’ll be doing?”

“We’re looking for Blurr’s sparkmate.”

“Heh, spark mate?” he laughed “That’s ridiculous, Blurr isn’t bonded to anyone…I think…is he?”

“No, Cliffjumper, he is not- or at least not yet. We all have one, Cliff, you know that.”

Cliffumper simply shrugged “I still don’t like you wandering around my base, Red Alert, I’ll need a better reason than that.”

The femme laid her hands upon the desk and leaned over to whisper “Look I’m just trying to keep him distracted,” she explained in a low voice “The stress is getting to him and if I don’t keep his mind off his current state I’m afraid he’ll end up hurting himself. We won’t bother anything I promise.”

Cliffjumper considered the notion, but was not fully convinced. Red Alert half scoffed half sighed “Come on Cliffjumper, you were friends once weren’t you?”

“Eh…you could call us that.” He flicked his hand “Go on, walk through the base, just don’t tamper with anything!”

Red Alert let a bit of a smirk slip through “Thank you.”

She walked out only to find Blurr slumped over the arm of his chair in recharge.

“Blurr!” she called, waking him up only slightly “Blurr! We’re moving.” She said, taking the handles on his chair and pushing the drowsily awakening Blurr back down the hall.

“Oh goody,” he grumbled, leaning his head on his hand.

They went floor to floor, hallways to hallway, and office to office, but there was no finding Blurr’s spark mate. By the end of the Journey, tired from walking, Red Alert sat in the front hallway beside her patient “Maybe it is Cliffjumper,” she suggested “Or someone who isn’t here today.”

Blurr shook his head, staring down at his crossed arms “No, no,” he grumbled “I-I think I know…who it is.”

“You know? Then who is it?”

Blur shrunk in himself slightly, leaning over and trapping his arms “The one person who can’t be here ever again,” he mumbled, putting his head over his face.

It took Red Alert a moment to figure it out but as soon as she did “That’s impossible!” she cried “He’s a Decepicon, Blurr, do you understand how rare that is?”

Blurr sat up slightly and looked around “Maybe we should discuss this somewhere a little more private, don’t you agree doctor?” he said, drawing her attention to the prying eyes of their fellow Autobots wandering past the busy entryway.

Without a word Blurr was pushed out into the street and walked home. As soon as they were in the apartment Red Alert got straight to business “Do you really believe that _he’s_ your spark mate?” she asked, looming over him.

Blurr shrugged “Who else would it be?”

“It could be anyone! Anyone else Blurr…What makes you think that it’s him?”

Blurr couldn’t look at the femme “I remember feeling things when he was Longarm.” He whispered “And stop acting like this is _my_ fault, it’s not like I _asked_ for this.”

Red Alert calmed. She knelt down beside the blue bot and put a hand on his shoulder “I just don’t think you need this kind of stress on your life. I think it would be best if you forget this whole thing, forget about the spark mate thing, forget about Longarm,” she stood up “And forget what that monster did to you.” She put another light hand on his shoulder “Just tell me when you want to recharge; I’ll be here when you need me.”

Later into the night, trying desperately to recharge, Blurr’s mind was a rush. His spark sent pulses through his body, demanding to meet it’s mate. Blurr struggled on his berth, shifting, and sighing, keeping in any screams or sounds so that he didn’t wake Red Alert.

The woman was like an intel agent with sensitive hearing.

Blurr was left to himself, grasping the unrelenting spark and begging it to stop. He sat on his knees, arms pinned to his chest, one hand grasping the others wrist.

“Please don’t make me do this,” he whispered desperately “Not this, anyone else but him.” He fell forward, still on his knees, refusing to face this new development in an already unbelievable reality.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Every day in the cell had become the same, blended together with a spoon of uneventful. Shockwave was a patient bot, though, he could wait. He had no need for events, for excitement or escape. Being too hasty never landed anyone anywhere useful. No, Shockwave could wait.

And so he did, with no fidgeting, no anxiety, because if there was one thing Shockwave knew, had lived through more than once, it was that the war always continued. Autobots always slipped up somehow, Decepticons always won eventually, and the war always started again. It was a never ending cycle.

All he had to do was wait.

The opportunity would come, an opportunity always came. Shockwave just had to be patient.

As he sat in the empty cell, a bit too small for a bot of his size, his spark pulsed for attention. He ignored the discomfort, went on with sitting against the wall and watching the force field coating the door act as his only light. This pain in his chest had been around for a while now. It came when he was promoted as Longarm, and increased whenever that troublesome little bot came around, and felt like it nearly exploded when he had to dispose of the nuisance.

In the millions of solar cycles he has lived, never has Shockwave sensed his spark mate. Being so cold he almost believed he did not have one. Only when he got closer and closer to Autobot life did he realize that the reason this feeling never surfaced was because his mate was not of his own kind. It came as no matter to him, though, Shockwave could live without being bothered with his spark begging to be met by it’s match. He did not live by his spark’s desires, he went by logic, and considering the circumstances, falling in with his supposed meant to be partner would be _illogical_ , and illogical was not something he did.

So he chose to ignore the pulling in his chest, when it screamed at him to mate he would not heed its demands. Even if he were to listen it would solve nothing. When bonded two sparks are drawn to each other almost constantly, more so even, in some cases, than if they had never met at all. A spark bond was useless.

Shockwave stood in his cell. It was at least tall enough for him. He went closer to the glowing door and looked out into the hall. He was set in a special part of the prison designed especially for bots of his calibre. Shockwave often criticized the Autobots for not executing prisoners such as himself. The war was over, it only made sense for he and Megatron, and any other significantly terrible Decepticon to be punished for their crimes.

Then again Decepticons didn’t always execute high ranking prisoners either. Sometimes Megatron liked to keep them like trophies representing what he’s conquered.

Now, though Megatron sat in a cell below the prison, even deeper than Shockwave’s cell. Such high ranking Decepticons were kept away from each other, and everyone else, to prevent any scheming. Shockwave, though, did not need anyone else to escape. He needed patience. And patience he had, in bulk.

Shockwave, after surveying the empty area outside, went to sit back against the wall. His spark pulsed again, so intensely he almost cared about it that time, but still manage to ignore. As the pulses continued Shockwave gathered an idea. It was slightly farfetched in his book, but being the deceptive genius he is, still thought it was doable.

Escape would be in his grasp if there was one weak link. Not in the prison, though, the prison was near impenetrable. No, Shockwave needed a weak link to the outside. Something vulnerable, possibly distressed, easily swayed and tricked.

He put a hand to his chest plate. Because it was apparently still alive, Shockwave knew exactly what link he could use.

 

* * *

 

 

Blurr shifted on the berth, squirming as dark thoughts swirled through his processor. He found himself in a dark space with no ground but still solid to stand on. Metal slabs throw their flat sides at Blurr who runs away from them easily before out of nowhere a wall appears and stops him in his tracks. He tries to run the other way but that’s blocked as well.

His only option is to run between them, look for an exit, get to the end. After only a few seconds the walls start closing in, Blurr still stuck between them. His legs move desperately faster, trying to escape but finding it impossible.

As soon as the walls consume him fully Blurr woke up. He sat up quickly, feeling like he had to keep moving. He calmed quickly, though, and ended up not repeating a folly he had many times. Blurr had had that dream before and almost every time he ended up panicking and falling off the bed because he believed he needed to keep moving. This time, though, he managed to collect himself before that happened.

The blue bot let out a quick sigh then turned his head up to look around the dark room. Nothing was out of place, all was how it should have been, but still something felt off. He remained sitting up for a while, unwilling to put himself back into recharge in fear of experiencing the same thing again.

As he sat quietly in the dark his calm scene was interrupted by a quick pulse of the spark. It smacked against his chest, demanding a partner that Blurr refused to give it. In tired rage Blurr punched his chest plate “No!” he growled quietly “You don’t get to make demands like that!” he stated, still angered at his sparks unwise choice of a spark mate. He didn’t know how his spark could suggest such a farfetched idea, how it could possibly still belong with the same person who tried to kill him. Whatever god or entity or thing that chose who was to be with who had clearly been impaired while matching Blurr and Shockwave.

Blurr, after the pulling feeling never subsided, decided that the best way to avid pain was to recharge. He laid back down but found that he couldn’t. Blurr ended up staying up the rest of the night, which was three hours, and simply dealing with the pain. It wasn’t difficult, he’d become used to doing that.

When the light shone through the breaks in the blinds Red Alert came in to unhook the IV and help him into the chair. After he was set she wheeled him to the wash wracks and left him to do as he pleased. Technically Red Alert was supposed to help Blur bathe himself but she found it unnecessary and Blurr refused to have that independence taken away from him.

“Don’t shower in your chair this time,” Red Alert commanded “Actually sit in the shower seat. I’ll let you stand and sit if you want.”

“I don’t understand why I can’t stand up in general,” Blurr mumbled, struggling to lift himself from the chair and moving to a smaller one set below the shower. His legs almost didn’t make it to the smaller seat only about a foot away.

“I think you can answer that question yourself,” said Red Alert, closing the door as she went out. She didn’t close it entirely just in case Blurr fell and couldn’t get up. That had happened the first day back in the apartment.

Blurr’s legs supported limited movement. They could not straighten out entirely or support a body, even one as light as Blurr’s. In some cases they would not function at all and numbed beneath their master. Red Alert couldn’t get herself to tell Blurr he may lose his ability to walk entirely. His condition was getting worse not better.

One of the main problems with Blurr’s body was that even if they did manage to produce new legs for him, his body could not support them. Blurr’s circuitry was so messed up it barely supported his head but still managed to function. Most of the wiring and protocols required for legs had been omitted from programing, leaving only basic functions that often malfunctioned and left Blurr helpless.

When Blurr finished cleaning himself he dried off and transported himself back to the chair. He tried to roll to the dining area but didn’t make it that far before Red Alert hoped up to help him. Blurr had almost no upper body strength. He was never designed to have upper body strength in the first place, but the combination of that and his vulnerable state made him weaker than he’d ever been before.

“I think we should work on the upper body,” started Red Alert, wheeling him to the table and handing him his breakfast “You could be living like this for a long time. It would be good for you to develop some upper body strength.”

Blurr scoffed “I can’t develop upper body strength. Ican’treallydevelopmuchofanythingremember?”

“We don’t know that Blurr, it’s possible your body is just having a hard time.”

“…You and I both know you don’t believe that.” He mumbled, tossing the energon pills into his mouth. He put the small cup on the table and looked at the red and white doctor drinking real energon at the other end of the table “Tell me the truth,” he started after a moment “Are you, First Aid, Ratchet, Perceptor and Wheeljack _really_ trying to do anything to me? Or do you just keep looking at me to make it seem like I’ll get better.”

Red Alert lowered her cup of energon and looked to her patient “Do you want me to lie to you, or tell you the truth?” she answered.

“I’m tired of being lied to.”

“In that case…We are trying to help you Blurr…But we all agree that there’s probably nothing we can do for you. If you are going to recover it wouldn’t be any time soon.”

“…That’s what I thought.” Blurr sat in thought for a moment “Why can’t you just transfer my spark again?”

“It’s extremely dangerous to transfer a spark out of a living body. No one has had any success in doing that, but we’re looking for ways so we can help other bots like you.”

“How many other bots are there like me really?” Blurr challenged, knowing fully well that an autobot with defects such as his was rare, if not non-existent other than himself.

“There are more than you think,” said Red Alert simply, ending the conversation. A few minutes later she stood and took Blurr from the table into the living room “What do you want to do today?” she asked “Anything?”

“What is there to do?” Asked Blurr “I didn’t have a life outside of the Elite Guard.”

“…I finally found you a good counselor who’s willing to deal with your all around bad attitude.”

“I’m not going to a counselor.”

“Yes you are.”

Arguments between Blurr and Red Alert often did not last long. Both were set in their ways but Blurr was aware of the fact that there was no arguing with Red Alert. She knew better than him when it came to medical matters and other things. Blurr was stubborn not stupid.

They ended up sitting and doing basically nothing until Blurr had to go to an appointment with Perceptor, who was trying to figure out what went wrong during the protoform’s development. He was not one to interact with Burr personally. He just laid Blurr on a berth and began running tests. The formers racer was surprised upon how, after so many tests already, Perceptor still had more to run.

At the end of the session Perceptor came out of the little box he worked in and told Blurr something he did not want to hear “I would advise finding your spark mate,” he announced as Blurr was helped back into his chair “You what?” questioned Blurr tensely, as if telling Perceptor ‘say that again, I dare you.’

Red Alert silenced him with a hand to the shoulder, then looked to her colleague “Why?” he asked bluntly.

“It would take a layer of stress off of Blurr’s body. It may help in the recovery and development process if he were to mate with the intended bot.”

“No!” Blurr spat immediately “I wouldn’t mate with him if you put a blaster to my head and forced me!”

“So you already know who it is.” Stated the red bot “Fine. If you feel so strongly about it, then you do not have to mate. It would be better for you, though, if you were closer to your partner spark. Spending just one hour a day with them will change the state of your spark.”

“That’s impossible,” Blurr mumbled “Nobodyisallowedtoseemysparkmatehe’sstuckbehindaforcefield deepdeepunderground.” He said quickly, almost hoping nobody heard him.

“Your spark mate is in prison?” Inquired Perceptor, raising an optic ridge “Who is it?”

“No one,” Blurr answered quickly.

Red Alert stepped in for him “Perceptor is there anything else we can do to relive the stress on his body?”

Perceptor shook his head “No. Considering this spark mate business is the only problem of many we can take care of right now. We’re already doing all we can for the rest of the stressors.”

Red Alert sighed “Alright,”

As a doctor Red Alert genuinely wanted her patient to get better. She wanted the injured to heal, for the sick to get better, and for the pain to go away. She couldn’t do anything for Blurr, though, she couldn’t help this patent. She just had to sit back and watch him suffer and try to make his life as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. It was clear to her, though, that Blurr had stopped enjoying life as soon as he woke up.

As they walked out of Perceptors lab Red Alert made an insane suggestion “I think you should see him,” she suggested, getting a very expected reaction from Blurr.

“I should see him!?” he raged “I can’t _see_ him! For one he’s in prison, and for another he’s an evil Decepticon!” he calmed a moment later, slumping back in his seat “I think the normal boring life is getting to you Red Alert, you’re talking crazy.”

“I know it’s hard for you to accept this, but Shockwave _is_ your spark mate. It would take a lot of stress you don’t need away if you were just close to him. I also think it would be good for you, Blurr, to face your fears.”

Blurr scoffed “I’m not afraid of Shockwave,” he spat, crossing his arms “I hate him with a burning passion.”

“Either way. You wouldn’t even have to talk to him. All you’d have to do is sit outside his cell for a while. We can make an appointment with Optimus Prime, get him to let you in the prison.”

“No one is allowed in that prison.”

“He may make an exception for you.”

“Why? You know I don’t like to be pitied.”

“That’s not what I’m implying. I just mean he knows you, he’s worked with you. He may be willing to help you.”

Blurr thought for a moment, head down “We can try,” he said quietly, giving in to the pain in his chest “But if he says I can see him I’m just going to sit by the cell. I won’t speak to that beast.”

“I would never ask you to do more.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Blurr and Red Alert made their way to the heart of the city where the executive building sat, to request a meeting with Optimus Prime. After the war Sentinel was replaced by Optimus as Magnus. The high council saw that he suited the spot better than the former bot that held it after Ultra Magnus.

Despite his high ranking position Optimus was willing to see Red Alert and Blurr right away. He was still getting used to this whole Magnus thing.

“Blurr,” he greeted his former colleague, shaking the blue bots hand “I haven’t seen you in ages. How have you been?” he asked, already guessing the answer judging by the once great racers appearance.

“I have been…Well,” Blurr answered choppily, not wanting to show his bad attitude to Optimus Prime. Or, now, Optimus Magnus. The larger mech went and sat back in his chair “So what brings you here?”

Blurr wheeled himself out of Red Alert’s hands, getting closer to Optimus “I have a request to make.” He started off right away “But it might sound a bit…peculiar- coming from me.”

Optimus raised an Optic Ridge “Alright, well, what do you need?”

“Uh,” Blurr hesitated “I was wondering…” Blurr decided it best to just get it over with “IwaswonderingifI couldgetavisitwithShockwave.” He spit out quickly.

Optimus was silent for a moment “All I caught was visit and Shockwave.” He said after a moment “Are you asking of you can visit Shockwave?” inquired Optimus, slightly baffled at the out of character request. Blurr simply nodded.

Optimus leaned back in his chair “You know the Decepticons are completely off limits.” He stated “Why are you asking? And better yet, why do you want to see the mech who tried to offline you?”

“…I have my reasons. I have a big weight I have to get off my, uh, chest- and I just need to visit Shockwave.” He mumbled at the very end “everydayforanhouruntilitgoesaway.”

“What was that?”

“A few times if possible.”

Optimus shook his head “Blurr, I can’t allow a civilian to visit any of the Decepticon prisoners, even one of my friends. If you were to give me a better reason I may be able to pull a few strings, but just wanting to see him is not a good answer…What’s your real motive for doing this?”

Blurr’s tense body fell loose as he accepted the fact that he’d have to tell Optimus Prime his real reason for wanting to visit the monster “It’s not my choice,” he starts “To be completely honest, Optimus, I don’t want to see that Decepticon scum at all.”

“Then why are you asking?”

“Doctors orders…Everybody has a pre-set spark mate, Optimus Magnus, and mine just so happens to be a dirty rotten Decepticon that tried to kill me.” he said, not at full speed but fairly close.

Optimus sat agape for a moment “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh how I wish I wasn’t.”

Red Alert stepped forward to explain the more medical reasons for it “Blurr’s disabilities put a lot of stress on his body,” she started “We’re hoping this will take part of the stress away. The spark sends painful signals through the body when it’s been too far away from it’s intended bond mate for too long. His body can barely handle pure energon, it won’t fare well with a restless spark if we let it go on for too long.”

Optimus was slightly confused “Are you saying you need to spark bond with this Decepticon?”

“Never!” Blurr raged before Red Alert started to explain “No,” she started, putting a hand out to silence her patient “We just need them to be closer. It will calm the spark down. Just one hour, a few months once a day outside the cell would make a significant difference.”

Optimus considered the notion “I’ll allow it,” he said after a moment “But you can only see him once a _week_ for _two_ hours. I’ll pull a few strings at the prison.” He stood and approached the pair “What day did you intend to start.”

“As soon as you can,” answered Red Alert before the bad tempered Blurr could answer for himself.

“Alright, fine, I will meet you next week at the prison gates, two hours before sun down.” He looked to Blurr “I’m sorry you have to go through all this,” he said, shaking the former speedster’s hand once again.

Blurr couldn’t say he was happy with the results. To be completely honest Blurr hoped Optimus would say no and leave it at that. But no, Red Alert just _had_ to convince him otherwise.

Blurr scowled as they left the room. He hoped the rest of the week would go slow.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“I’ve changed my mind,” Blurr started, as Red Alert helped him from the berth on the day of the visit “I don’t think I can do this.”

“We can’t just go back on Optimus, not after he went through this much trouble just to let you see him.” She wheeled Blurr out of the room “Just don’t talk to him, don’t look at him, don’t do anything at all. I’m sure you’re capable, Blurr, to deal with the situation. Remember what you were like before all this?”

Blurr crossed his arms, half frowning “Before all this I was capable. My skills kept me confident.”

“Cocky,” Red Alert corrected, drawing a scowl from her patient “Now you’re just stubborn,” she continued “And bad tempered, and pessimistic, and hard headed-”

“Thank you Red Alert!” Blurr interrupted “You are very observant, but how is that supposed to help me?”

“I know you’re capable of more than you’re putting out. Just keep a level head.”

“Or I could avoid this all together” his spark practically slapped him “Or—maybe I can’t” Blurr struggled, resting a hand against his chest.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Red Alert assured “You’ll be fine,” she repeated, trying to convince herself. Red Alert frankly hated the idea of Blurr spending any time with his would have been killer. Sure she may have suggested it, but that was her thinking as a medical doctor, not a psychological one. The civilian—the friend--part of her didn’t want her colleague going anywhere near that Decepticon. She told herself all would be well, but didn’t find herself listening.

 

* * *

 

 

When they reached the prison Optimus Prime stood outside waiting for them to arrive.

“I hope we didn’t keep you waiting.” Said Blurr as they approached the leader “I live on the entirely opposite end of the city.”

“Understandable,” stated Optimus “But I haven’t been here long.” He decided to waste no time “Now come on, follow me inside.” The Magnus led his former colleague through the thickly layered gates. There were six massive walls blocking the highly guarded holding center. There was one entrance and no windows. There was not a single opening in the entire facility.

Blurr and Red Alert followed Optimus through the first set of doors, which consisted of three four foot thick re-enforced voice activated entrances, each set only a few yards away from each other. The space was designed so that no Deception could fit.

The next set of barriers consisted of three check points in which Red Alert, Blurr, and even Optimus were checked for any weapons or tools. They almost wouldn’t let Blurr’s wheel chair in but Optimus overrode that decision.

At the end of the journey they reached an elevator set right in the center of the building. They stepped in and were sent down, lights flashed through the front window before leveling off when they reached the prison level. They entered into a large tube that harbored cells occupied by war prisoners. The elevator traveled at a amazing speed, zipping past the cells in a blurr

“The first level is occupied by common criminals.” Optimus explained “The next level, which we’re about to enter, is the defense level.” As if on cue they passed out of the first level and entered into one of the in between section. Seconds later the view cleared again revealing an entire floor of guards and weapons pointed up and down.

The defense level lasted for three layers before breaking away again “The next level we’re going to enter is—are you alright Blurr?” Optimus looked down to see the former speedster doubled over holding his stomach “I’m fine,” Blurr assured, clearly lying “Just—“ he didn’t know exactly how to describe it “Overstimulated,” he finally spit out.

Blurr felt sick for a multitude of reasons. One being the speed at which they were traveling. Another factor was a pounding head ach and the idea that he was going to see one of the worst Decepticons that ever lived.

“Blurr, are you getting—motion sickness?” asked Red Alert, unable to believe something that sounded so ridiculous.

“No!” Blurr denied immediately “…Maybe—Yes!”

“How is that possible? Your body was designed to withstand extreme speed.”

“Maybe my old body, but this one, I don’ think it understands that considering the position it’s put me in.” he leaned back “Are we almost there?” He couldn’t believe the question had come out of his mouth. Blurr could wait forever to see Shockwave. He’d rather not do it on this elevator, though, or at least not while it’s moving.

“I’d prefer, Blurr, if you didn’t get sick in the elevator.” Said Optimus, clearly trying not to sound insensitive but having to make the request.

“I won’t.” Blurr assured, trying to keep his mind off the uneasy feeling flowing through his mind and stomach. Every time his train of thought changed course, however, it always flipped to something having to do with Shockwave. Blurr had more to think about on the subject than he thought.

He wanted to say he’d changed his mind, to tell them to send the elevator back up. The former racer couldn’t get himself to do it. He’d come this far, they’d gone through so much trouble already it would be waste of everyone’s time if he suddenly got cold feet. Or, to be accurate, colder.

The last level on the elevator leg of the journey was the control room, where every singles aspect of the prison was monitored. The guards and desk workers saluted as the Magnus passed, a high order of respect Optimus had yet to get used to.

“At ease everyone,” he said, stepping behind the main control panel and studying the monitor a moment before looking to Blurr “Shockwave is actually two more levels below us. For security reasons the elevator only goes this far. We’ll have to walk the rest of the way.” He looked down at Blurr, suddenly feeling as though he’d said something inconsiderate “D-uh, well, I mean, the way down is flat—mostly. There’s only one set of stairs.” The large mech suddenly became slightly tentative “I can—carry you, if you need.” He offered, knowing Blurr would not like the suggestion, but unsure how the stationary bot would go about handling the stairs.

“I can walk,” Blurr said, before his doctor could say anything.

“No he can’t” Red Alert immediately corrected, looking to th hard helmed racer “Let Optimus carry you.”

Blurr did something similar to pouting, but did not argue. Red Alert would not be swayed so he did not try to sway her.

The Magnus led the pair over to the left wall where there appeared to be nothing. He typed a code into a small key pad over to the side and a second later the gray walls parted. Several thick doors slid apart revealing a long hallway.

The door’s closed as they walked past. A few minutes after they entered Optimus began to explain a few things “This part was designed to be like a maze.” He said as they made a few turns “It’s not very long, but it is confusing. Or, at least, if you go the right way it’s not very long.” He gestured the wall “Every wall is thickly re-enforced with the strongest metals on Cybertron. There’s one prisoner held every two or three levels. Shockwave is closer to the surface because, while he may be a notable scientist on both our sides, he’s least likely to try and escape. We also decommissioned his weapons systems. If we couldn’t have done that they would have all been further down.”

“…Aren’t you afraid he’ll figure a way out?” Asked Blurr, not thinking too much about what came out of his mouth.

“Well,” Optimus had to think for a moment “No. Not at this point at least. We’re aware of his skills, Blurr, but intel informs us that Shockwave’s loyalty to Megatron has dwindled over the years. If he were to escape, we assume it would just be for himself.”

Blurr wanted to say something but the words caught in his throat. He didn’t want to question the higher bot’s authority in any way so he kept his mouth shut.

A little while into the hallway they hit another thick door that parted at Optimus Prime’s command. The largest of the group looked down at Blurr and hesitantly leaned down to pick him up “Uh, may I?” he asked before jumping right into it. Blurr simply nodded, allowing Optimus to lift him from his chair “After we set Blurr down we’ll both have to vacate the area.” Started Prime, looking to Red Alert “Only one bot in the holding center at a time.” Said the truck, stepping through the door, Red Alert right behind, dragging the folded up wheel chair.

As they made the journey down a few flights of stairs both bots tried ignoring the fact the Blurr was being carried. Optimus looked straight ahead while Blurr looked at the ground, trying not to let the situation feel too demeaning.

Luckily the trip was a short one. They made it to a bright open space, large enough to be an aircraft hangar. The walls only held one cell all the way on the other side of the room. “The bots at the control panel should have deactivated the automatic defense system by now, lets just wait a minute just in case, though.”explained Optimus.

Blurr looked out into the room. There, all the way across, sitting in the one dark little cell, was his worst nightmare.

“That’s nice and all,” started Blurr, getting his mind off it and looking to Optimus “But can you put me down now?”

Optimus flinched “Oh! Right,”

Red Alert set up the chair and Optimus gently lowered the smaller bot into it “I almost forgot, you’re so light.” Optimus retracted the statement in his head as soon as it slipped from his lips “Uh, I mean—“ he looked out into the room “It’s probably safe now, we can wal- move! Move, across the room.”

He rushed off, the visitors close behind. When they reached the cell Prime told the pair to just leave Blurr beside the door “He can sit here for two hour. Now, Blurr, we will allow you to talk with the prisoner if you want, but we prefer small talk, nothing too in depth. I don’t believe you intend to talk with him, though, considering your—history.” He looked into the darkened cell “We’ll be back to get you in two hours. For safety reasons we’ll be reactivating the defense system so please refrain from moving away from the door.”

Blurr wanted to wheel forward and look into the cell, but something held him back. He didn’t want to see Shockwave, he didn’t even want to be _here._ Blurr could live fully well without ever actually seeing the evil Decepticon again. Despite his intense protest something still pulled him towards the sparkless tank.

“I won’t move,” said the Blue bot “But if I do try not to shoot me.”

Optimus smirked at the peak of a joke “I can’t make any promises,” he looked back to the exit “It should be safe still,” he looked to Red Alert “It’s time we take our leave.” His stare averted back to Blurr “If for any reason you need to be released early just call and one of the guards will come get you.”

With that he and Red Alert made their way back across the room, leaving Blurr alone—mostly.

 

After a few seconds Shockwave silently made his way to the door and sat beside it facing Blurr. He could just barely see the nervous bot leaning his head on a propped up fist.

The dark bot waited almost an hour before saying anything. His voice knocked Blurr out of recharge, which he’d been surprisingly enjoying. Blurr sat up straight. He hadn’t heard what Shockwave said but it didn’t matter. His spark pulsed with fear and approval, pulling Blurr to the large mech again but this time in a calmer matter.

“I suppose you have friends in high places.” Stated Shockwave, never taking his optic off the smaller bot “Not everyone gets a visit with the notorious Decepticons. I only wonder what brings you here.”

Blurr scowled, closing his eyes and leaning on his fist in an attempt to ignore the sinister being and fall into recharge.

“I suppose you’re aware that I already know,” uttered Shockwave, well aware that this bot held a thickly averse attitude when it came to interacting with him. This did not discourage him however.

“Come now, Blurr” eased the tank “We both know why you’re here. There’s so much we have to discuss.”

Blurr let his fist fall in the arm of the chair. He wanted to reply. He wanted to scream at the once mighty Decepticon about what a horrible lying creep he is. He wanted to tell this oh so powerful mech that he ruined the racers life and that Blurr had nothing for a sparkles brute like Shockwave.

But he didn’t

He choked on the words that pushed their way up his throat and begged to be released. He swallowed everything he ever wanted to say to the tank because he knew it would do nothing. Blurr wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t blind to rage and hatred but his processor tried to shield his eyes and allow the thoughts of pure dislike take over his speech protocols. Blurr had a lot to say to Shockwave, but the fact was, whatever he said, no matter how mean, or passionate, or hateful, would note phase Shockwave. It would not make him think, it would not make him regret and it would change neither of their positions.

So Blurr held his tongue.

He clawed and tapped his pounding chest plate, demanding the fool feelings to stop, and he just sat. He sat as he would anywhere else and ignored any words that may slip from the monsters mouth. All the doctors could talk about was the stress on his body, they never considered the stress this would put on his mind. The last thing Blurr needed was any more nightmares.

“For someone who speaks so quickly so often you do seem quiet.” Stated Shockwave, trying fairly hard to get him to break “I remember when you were in the Elite Guard we could barely get you to shut your mouth.”

Blurr gritted his teeth, words hacking themselves up that would not be said. Shockwave continued to push “Although,” he leaned forward, his voice suddenly holding a darker tone “I suppose a few things have changed since then haven’t they Blurr?”

Blurr struggled to keep his cool. He was often good at staying level headed but this was a new level of difficult. Shockwave, realizing that he was close, tried for one last time to crack the shell “Who took over for me after I was gone?” he asked “And, speaking of which, who took over for you? I can’t imagine you’re any use now that you’re—defective.”

That was it. Blurr had been cracked “That was _never_ your position.” He growled, throwing himself forward slightly “And I’m stuck in this chair because of _you!”_ he held back significantly, both in statement and volume.

“As far as I know I did not disrupt your protoform development,” started Shockwave, satisfied with his work “I simply allowed you to be placed within one. You can’t blame me for anything that occurred after the cube.”

Blurr slammed a fist on the rattily arm chair “You ruined my life!” he raged.

“I had nothing to do with your current state,” Shockwave defended, seeing now what he could use to get this little bot to assist him.

Blurr rolled forward slightly “If you hadn’t crushed me into that Primus forsaken cube!” he accused, scowling at the seated mech behind the force field.

Shockwave stood, stepping on front of the doorway “I was not in charge of your protoform little one. Although, had I been, this would not have happened. It was purely the fault of your doctors, but none of them will own up to it will they? They just keep trying to fix it.”

Blurr, now facing the much larger mech behind the field, tried to keep on a brave face “They _will_ fix it.” He shot, narrowing his eyes at the Decepticon. Blurr’s frame shook. He’d nearly forgotten just how _big_ Shockwave really was.

Shockwave leaned down so he was face to face with the much smaller bot “You don’t really believe that do you.” It was almost a question.

Blurr had nothing to say. He didn’t believe it, not for one minute, especially after what Red Alert told him. He’d never let Shockwave know that, though.

“Your doctors are barely mediocre.” Started the scientist, standing up straight “If they had minds a third as good as mine they may be able to fix you. But they can’t” he leaned down again “Because _your_ little “scientists” and “doctors” are _sparklings_ compared to the Decepticon’s highest minds.”

“And who exactly are the Decepticon’s “highest minds”?” Blurr challenged, not convinced by the speech.

“They have only ever needed one.” Stated Shockwave, straightening himself slightly “I have changed the tide of the war with my weapons and research more times than you realize _._ I’ve been through war many times, little thing, while you have only been there once. Do you know why the Decepticons win?” he lowered his tone to a dark whisper, kneeling to Blurr’s level “It’s because I _let_ them.”

Blurr leaned away, despite knowing Shockwave could not get any closer. Having the much larger mech loom over him again shot unpleasant memories across his vision. He panicked for a moment, going back to when Shockwave first revealed himself and tried to squish the little pest.

Blurr gathered himself quickly and tried to face Shockwave again. He only got a glance in before the large red optic staring him down forced him to look away.

“I know what you are,” whispered the small blue mech “I know what you’re trying to do.” He shot Shockwave a glare, pretending not to fear the large red Optic “And you are _not_ going to get to me. You can say whatever you want. I don’t care.” Blurr lied to himself, knowing fully well that Shockwave knew better than that. He was a master at deception, at lies and persuasion.

“We’re getting off track,” started Shockwave after a moment “I did not make the statement to start an argument. I simply wanted to criticize your foolish medical professionals. They barely know what they are doing,” Shockwave voice was so smooth, so hypnotizing. Blurr tried not to listen. He looked away and refused to let the words stick in his processor.

“I can fix you Blurr,” Shockwave cooed, moving his servos as if coercing Blurr to come closer “My knowledge on the Cybertronian body exceeds that of all your so-called doctors combined. I was the head scientist for the Decepticons because I was the only one they needed.”

Blurr huffed “I would have thought you were head spy.”

“I dabble in the arts.” Shockwave came as close to the force field as he could “But that is unimportant. If you truly want to be fixed Blurr, which I know you do, I’m sure you can discuss it with your friends in high places.” He stood and backed away to the wall “I will be here when you need me. And you _will_ need me.” his voice lowered to a rumbling whisper “For more reasons than one.”


End file.
